guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was born a porn star she said
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
