Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
