My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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