Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
