i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
