Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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