there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
