Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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