I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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