He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
