At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
