from now on my penis is your penis
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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