Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
