how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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