how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
