So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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