Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
