i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
