i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
