so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
