If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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