Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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