420 ftw
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He shit in the fireplace
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
