Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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