Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she peed on how many people?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
