I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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