Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
