Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize