One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Are we still banned from the library?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
