I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
