He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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