The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
