i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
