the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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