so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I touched a dick in church today
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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