Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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