well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She announced her abortion via fbk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
