I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
