Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
