I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
