Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
