Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize