I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
