three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
