You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
