Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
