Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
