Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
