Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
