What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
