we have officially lost it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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