I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This girl is more easily done than said...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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