Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
