The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
