i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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