ugly people sure do ruin things
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
