THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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