You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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