I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
