i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
