Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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