i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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