I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
