people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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