i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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